Eros : The Four Loves
Cs. Lewis describes Eros as “that state which we call ‘being in love’ ”. Eros in Greek Mythology was the god of love, “romantic/sexual desire” in Roman mythology “Cupid”. Cupid’s arrow has been a consistent theme of the idea of Eros and the focal point of the arrow on another individual .. less attention on self and more attention on another. This is a healthy form of the expression of Eros love.
.In modernity we tend to focus on Eros’ expression of love to be the most important or the most satisfying . Cs Lewis was very much against Eros being derivatively broken down to sexuality alone. He said,
“Very often what comes first is simply a delighted pre-occupation with the Beloved - a general, unspecified pre-occupation with her in her totality. A man in this state really hasn't leisure to think of sex. He is too busy thinking of a person. The fact that she is a woman is far less important than the fact that she is herself.. If you asked him what he wanted, the true reply would often be, ‘To go on thinking of her.’ “
To be in Eros love is a beautiful thing, if it grows into philea, and storge love will be an even better thing. Eros at its best has almost nothing to do with pleasure as such: we aren’t interested in ‘pleasure’ or sexual sensation or even emotional fulfilment as much as we are interested in another person apart from ourselves.
.Eros CAN become a vacuum if it is the central point of the individual - we have the power to distort and even destroy common logic in order to make Eros work for us. Eros is most dangerous when it seems most god-like: total commitment, total disregard for well-being, total and ruthless selflessness.